Dizzy

Sometimes I take the long walk home from Bethesda down Connecticut Avenue; lately I have been getting fabulous ideas for sentences as I round the corner up East West Highway right next to the second J bus stop. I mostly forget them somewhere between this point and my front door.

I listened to Shadow Stabbing by Cake (while walking, today) and decided this was an emblematic anthem for all my failed relationships, starting with number one: we were all sitting around some kind of forced church bonding meeting playing our favorite songs and maybe trying to connect them to God (?) and this friend of mine put on Cake and I remember feeling like my life was a movie. Sometimes there is nothing so fulfilling as hearing an amazing song for the first time, I think, and I also think that when something is first it is an automatic emblem. There is something so wry and ridiculous and childish about Shadow Stabbing that its tempting to use it as a blanket, subsequently, for every other similar problem I've ever had in love--and all my problems in love are wry ridiculous and childish so thanks John McCrea, I'll make sure to send you a kitten when I'm a cat lady someday. Bitch.

This summer has got me down. 

I have a crush on a boy at work who may or may not have a soul. My bones are sleepy.